If Heartbreak
by Virtually Forgotten
Summary: It's 9:20PM on a Thursday night and tonight's the night. Tonight, Ochako was going to tell Bakugou how she felt.


_**A**_ _/_ _ **N:**_ _This was written for last year's kacchako angst week. Unfortunately I was only able to write something for 2 of the days but I quite liked this one! I uploaded the other one I had written for the other day on tumblr but…I was kinda disappointed in that one so I'll just…leave…it…there…womp. Anyway, please read and review!_

 _ **Summary:**_ _""It's 9:20PM on a Thursday night and tonight's the night. Ochako was going to tell him how she felt."_

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Boku no Hero Academia, Kohei Horikoshi does._

* * *

Ochako practices in front of the mirror.

The mirror itself was a cheap hand mirror worth 250 yen that she had found at a nearby convenience store. It was made of flimsy pink plastic and glass that was already cloudy with her fingerprints and peeling around the edges. She wasn't one to splurge but in that one moment she had decided to indulge in herself. She had bought the hand mirror and had brought it back to her dorm and was now sitting at the edge of her bed, her oven mitts clenched tight around the thin handle as she practiced her confession.

"I like you" – too quiet – "I like you..." – too hesitant – "I like you!" – too aggressive. With a sigh she drops the mirror to her side and flops backwards into her bedsheets. Her heart leaps into her throat as her lips slowly curve in the shape of his name, "Bakugou-kun…" and her nerves buzz with nervous excitement, daring her to say what she really wanted to say.

"Katsuki..."

His first name tastes like forbidden fruit on her tongue, honey sweet yet dangerous, dripping with her feelings. The embarrassment immediately kicks in and she tenses and clutches at her red cheeks with a sheepish "eep!". Her legs cycle through the air as she kicks and flails and rolls from side to side.

"Ohmygoodness!" She gushes. Her cheeks are warm beneath her fingertips and she can feel the blood rushing from her head to her toes. "I can't believe I said that!" Giggles bubble from the pit of her stomach as she ventures to say his name again, "Katsuki" and again "Katsuki" and soon the embarrassment wears off and she can pull her hands away from her face. She collects herself with a cough and picks up the mirror again and holds it above her head.

"Katsuki!" Ochako declares steadfastly to her blushing reflection. "I like you!"

~x~

Ochako quickly learns, however, that real life is a different hurdle altogether.

" _Fucking round-face_!"

"Bakugou-kun!" She jumps in her desk as Bakugou marches toward her but is interrupted as he suddenly pulls at her cheeks. "Owwwww, Bakugou-kun, let go!"

"You fucking took the last melon bread from the cafeteria didn't you!?"

"So what if I did!" She fights back with a drawn-out whine. "It's not like it belongs to you!"

"I wanted it!"

"So did I!"

They silently glare at each for a few heated seconds before Bakugou releases her cheeks with a huff and sits in the desk behind her, arms crossed over his chest. A grin spreads across Ochako's face as he pouts and a small part of her wants to tease him a little longer but instead she unzips her backpack and tosses him an extra melon bread.

"Just kidding," she hums happily when he catches it, "I got you one too." His face brightens but he quickly coughs and looks away, his bottom lip jutting out in his trademark frown, a clear attempt to hide the excitement on his face as he unwraps the melon bread.

"I'm not gonna fucking thank you," he makes sure to let her know but he betrays himself as he lifts a hand and ruffles her hair. Her breath catches in her throat and her hands clench at her skirt at the sensation of his fingers threading through her chestnut locks. The motion is so precious to her that if she could collect memories and keep them locked in her heart for safekeeping, this would be the moment. She wants nothing more than to be like the rock singers he enjoyed so much. To scream out her affections for all the world to hear, to blast out with frayed vocal chords and heavy lungs – " _I like you! I like you! I like you so much!"_

But on the other hand she wishes for something tender, for a love as soft and sweet as a ballad song. She wants to take his hands in hers, to trace her lips over the rivulets running across his palm and to impress in him constellation imprints of her love. Slowly and tenderly, to drink him in until she was the ocean overflowing in his waves. His eyes are soft and the corners of his mouth are upturned into something more akin to a smile than a smirk and she is jealous to keep these rare expressions only to herself.

 _I like you._ These words burn like hellish starlight in the deepest recesses of her chest, desperate to bloom.

"Bakugou-kun," Ochako starts, acutely aware of his hand still on her head and his soft gaze leveled with hers, "I—."

"Yo Bakugou, you flirting with Uraraka?" Kaminari cackles from the doorway with Kirishima hovering next to him. Bakugou whips around to shoot a seething glare in their direction. "Fuck off last-placer or I'll fucking murder you!"

"You say that all the time, man!" Kirishima teases back with a fanged grin. "It's starting to lose its edge!"

Bakugou's eyebrows perk up at the challenge and his lips pull back into a toothy sneer. "Losing its' edge, huh? I'll show you fuckers!" His desk rattles as he shoots to his feet and immediately, Kirishima and Kaminari bolt off in response, their laughter ringing through the hallway as Bakugou dashes after them. "I'll talk to you later, round-face!" He yells over his shoulder before disappearing.

The silence returns to the classroom and Ochako is left alone but the heat of her blush burning in her cheeks and the phantom weight of where his hand had rested on her head remains even long after he's gone.

~x~

It's 9:20PM on a Thursday night and tonight's the night. Ochako was going to tell him how she felt. There was no rhyme or reason as to why she was going to tell him at this time. She had just been lying in bed when the need to confess had seized her until it had become near impossible to ignore. She had followed her instincts but now, as she rode the elevator to his floor, the dread was steadily rising within her – 1F, 2F, 3F— and soon she's pacing in circles, muttering to herself on whether this was really a good idea.

When she reaches the fourth floor, the elevator doors open with a ding and she wants nothing more than to run away.

"Are you really not gonna help me out with our Japanese literature homework?" Ochako jumps at the sound of Kirishima's whining voice ringing through the hallway. His silhouette walks out of Bakugou's room, homework in hand, and Ochako quickly ducks behind the corner in the hallway before he notices her. "Midnight-sensei's gonna kill me tomorrow if I don't have it done again!"

"That's not my fucking problem!" A fond smile grows on her face at Bakugou's trademark biting tone. "I'm not here to do your fucking homework for you!"

"I mean, I guess you're right...," Kirishima mumbles, reluctantly accepting that he would be on his own tonight in terms of finishing up the dreaded literature assignment.

"Tch, now hurry up and leave before I kick your fucking ass."

Kirishima lets out his cheerful laugh, never one to be swayed by Bakugou's bristly words. "All right, man. Good night."

And then there's silence. Ochako waits a little longer to make sure that Kirishima had gone away and then rises to her feet. She sucks in a couple measured breathes to calm her racing heart – _1, 2, 3, and exhale_ – before peeking around the corner to make sure they were gone.

They were still there.

With lips pressed together in a soft goodbye kiss and eyes closed, they were still there.

If heartbreak were a sound it be the sound of their lips meeting, slow and sweet, sharing honeyed goodbye kisses. It would be the tenderness in Kirishima's voice as he whispered "Katsuki" before folding his lips back over Bakugou's, fanged teeth teasing at the plump of his bottom lip. Bakugou wasn't a man of many words but his actions gave him away. The way he ruffled her hair during lunchtime was no match for the way his callused hands tunneled through Kirishima's washed hair, his fingers finding their home in his crimson tresses. His "round-face" nickname for her was no match for the familiar way he murmured "Eijiro" as his mouth desperately found Kirishima's, tongue rolling over tongue as he sought the warmth of his kiss – over and over and over again.

If heartbreak…if heartbreak could be seen then it would have her picture all over it. It would be the way that, for all of her training and all of her abilities, she couldn't stop gravity from pushing her to her knees. She couldn't stop the sobs rising in her throat like bile as she rips her gaze away and hides.

She shudders and shakes like autumn leaves caught in a crisp breeze, her hands cupped over her mouth to keep her sobs at bay. Her feelings taunt her as she falls apart. He looked at her differently? He spoke to her differently? How could she have been so foolish and been so blind? How could she have been dumb enough to _hope_?

The tears are molten on her skin, leaving scalding trails in their wake as they roll down her apple cheeks. Her shoulders tremble as she holds back her sniffles and her sobs and silently cries at the sounds of their love. The sound of hushed whispers and impatient moans grate at her ears. The seconds bleed into minutes and minutes bleed into who knows how long and through it all she numbs herself to the way Kirishima longs for him, touches him, satisfies him, loves him and she numbs herself to the way Bakugou reciprocates in kind.

She numbs herself to the fact that that can never be her.


End file.
